Zelenka Admiration Society
by trecebo
Summary: It appears Radek has a fan club...sort of...
1. Chapter 1

**Zelenka Admiration Society**

_Stargate Atlantis is property of MGM and its subsidiaries. I am making no profit, simply indulging my sense of fun... Ego and babble come from the Funk and Wagnalls Standard Desk Dictionary (copyright 1984). Ego-babble as defined is something I think John Sheppard would come up with. He's that kinda guy._

**ego** (e'go, eg'o) _n. _**1**. the thinking, feeling, and acting self that is conscious of itself and aware of its distinction from the objects of its thought and perceptions. ... **3**. _Informal_ Self-centeredness; conceit. ( L,I)

**babble**(bab'el) _... v.t._ **4**. To utter unintelligibly. **5**. To blurt out thoughtlessly_ ... n. _**3.** A murmuring or rippling sound. ...(ME _babelen_; ult. Origin unknown)

**ego-babble **(eego-baa-bull) _n. _a combination of Rodney talking about himself and the science he understands. (origin: John Shepherd in fan-fic)

* * *

**ZAS: The Random Menace**

_Radek is cooler than Rodney thinks he is..._ Sheppard frowned at that line on his notepadd. It sounded pretty lame and he didn't dare say it out loud. For all his quirks, he liked the Czech scientist who put up with McKay's constant ego-babble.

_Now, there's a good word for Rodney. Ego-babble. Sorta like techno-babble, but not._ He scratched his temple, taking a furtive look around the room.

Ronon was busy sharpening one of his blades. He claimed there were only fifty-three, but John knew he was lying.

An Athosian elders committee had Teyla cornered in a deep discussion concerning the upcoming harvest of some tuber that Rodney and Carson...

_Carson._ Sheppard bit back the grief that attempted to well up. It had been long enough for them to get on with life, but it was those unexpected moments when it could catch you off guard. He forced himself to focus on humor. _Tubers? Tubers? We don't need no stinkin' tubers..._

Elizabeth had long gone from the room, her duties requiring her to spend even her free time in the office of late.

And thankfully, Rodney was not where to be found. _Probably in the his lab, ego-babbling about techno-babble..._

Forcing Zelenka to listen, whether he liked it or not. _Like Radek would choose to actively listen to Rodney go on and on and on..._ The thought brought a smirk to his face and he bent over his padd once more.

_The man deserved to have someone recognize him, someone anonymous but with good intentions._ John nodded to himself, pleased with his efforts. A dark shadow blocked his light, causing him to look up slowly. "Uh-oh."

Ronon's deep rumble came out as a half-chuckle as he read the lines. "It's true. McKay doesn't know Zelenka's value."

"Oh, I think he does. He just won't admit it."

"No." The Satedan shook his head, dreads barely moving with the motion. "McKay won't understand it until Zelenka's gone, like..."

John held up a hand. "Don't."

"Fine, but I'm right." Large shoulders shrugged, used to death and moving on.

The colonel pulled a face, giving in to the logic. "I know."

"When do you plan to do this?" Ronon tapped the notepadd.

John leaned in. "Later tonight, 'round oh-three hundred." A quick glance around the room had him lower his voice even more. "You want in?"

"Oh yeah..."

* * *

The mess hall was calm the next morning until Rodney made time to have breakfast. He noticed the snickers first. They stopped when he whipped around to see who was laughing at whom. The stares were next. He couldn't decide if it was because he was just in a good mood and it reflected well amongst his peers, or if he had something in his teeth. He settled at a table and proceeded to eat his breakfast. 

"May I join you, Dr. McKay?" Teyla's dulcet tones were a welcome sound in the dull roar of the mess hall.

"Certainly. I mean, if you want to. I seem to have attracted attention this morning and I can't, for the life of me, figure out why?"

The Athosian's gentle grin did nothing to answer his thought. "Maybe you are imagining things, Rodney."

"No, no, I know it's something about me." McKay munched on his muffin, disregarding the crumbs on his mouth.

"Now, Rodney, everything isn't always about you," Sheppard slid into a chair next to him.

"Sure it is. The galaxy would fall apart without me," he gestured wildly. "How many times have I saved it this week?"

Ronon loomed over him. "Twice. I helped."

McKay was undeterred. "Yes, yes, well, I thank you for holding me up while I figured out the complex multi-encrypted algorithms that allowed me to then re-direct, then polarize the directional scope of the inverse ion stream that was boring a hole in our space-time continuum..."

"Ego...bab...ble." John muttered under his breath.

"Um, what? What was that?" Rodney fixed his gaze on Shepherd, missing Ronon's grin.

"I said, spell that in scrabble," came the reply.

"Oh." Deflated, the scientist finished his breakfast, quickly distracted by an equation on his ever-present padd.

"Hey, Radek! Over here," John waved to an empty chair next to Teyla.

The scientist gladly scurried over, his hair in disarray. "Oh, thank you, Col. Sheppard. My alarm..." he trailed off at the look he got from several people two tables over. They waved, giving him a thumbs up. Dumbstruck, he gave a weak wave in return.

"As I was saying, my alarm malfunctioned and the secondary system failed to kick in. I am curious to know why, since everything seems to be working correctly. I ran several scans..." Three tables over, one of the junior archeologists stood, bowing in his general direction, followed by two more people doing the same thing. "Am I missing something?"

"Huh? What? You must have missed something, since I just ran a city-wide diagnostic and the system is up at one hundred percent." Rodney looked up as he took his last bite of ham. "And you're late. Finish up here and get to the lab ASAP. I think I've figured out this spatial dilation wave-fracture equation. Not that you can really help me with it, but every once in a while, you think of something useful."

Zelenka deigned to reply, allowing only one brow in silent response. He watched Rodney go, frowning at his friend's retreating back. Adjusting his glasses, he craned his neck, eyes going wide as he read the message on the back of McKay's jacket.

_Radek is a lot cooler than Rodney thinks he is... (ZAS)_

The scientist in question looked at the faces around the table, each suspiciously blank.

"Well, I've got to go, too. Those reports don't wait." Sheppard pushed away, giving Zelenka a grin as he departed.

Teyla stood, laying a hand on the Czech's shoulder. "Have a pleasant day, Dr. Zelenka."

That left him face to face with Ronon. He quirked an eyebrow at the big Satedan.

"What?"

"Do you know about that?" He gestured in the direction Rodney had gone.

Ronon stood, a feral smile on his lips. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

Radek gulped and looked down at his kolochies, mind running a hundred miles an hour. _Someone thinks I'm cool? _ He smiled at his sausage. _Someone thinks I'm cool..._

* * *

_A/N: I have plans for a few more exploits of the ZAS. Anyone else think Radek needs a spotlight? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? And yes, I've corrected the previous mis-spelling of Ronon's name AND Sheppard's. Can't have mini-Sheps running around now, can we?  
_


	2. Attack of the Drones

**A****ttack of the Drones**

_It had to be him. _ Rodney fussed and fumed, wondering just how many people had seen his jacket and had been laughing at him all morning. _Why didn't they tell me?_

Absorbed in his inner turmoil, McKay didn't register Zelenka speaking to him. "Rodney? Hello? Rodney?" A hand waved before his eyes.

"You!" There was accusation in the lead scientist's tone. He got in Radek's face, finger going full-force wag. "You knew about this, didn't you?"

The Czech's blue eyes widened. "Not until you left the mess hall. Honest."

Rodney drew in a sharp, short breath. "Fine," he mumbled under his breath. If anything, Zelenka was almost an open book, easy to read, and yet, there was that underlying something. Maybe it was the sporadic flashes of near genius. _No, I've got all those bases covered. _ He pondered the screen before him a moment. "So..."

"Yes?" Radek raised both brows, waiting for whatever random thought to pop out of Rodney's mouth.

"_Are_ you cooler than I think you are?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. It depends on how you define cool."

McKay leaned back on the console. "Oh, well, then. If you define as I do, then I'd say yes, you are cooler. I know that my average body temperature is higher, no matter what Carson..." He paused, turning away from his friend only a moment. "No matter what the thermometer says. My own internal measure assures me I'm hot."

He began to pace, warming up to the subject. "Not that I'm HOT, mind you, but I like to think that I have a certain...appeal to the fairer sex, what with my mind working faster than the average speeding bullet."

Radek sighed and began inching toward his station.

"And when it comes to cool, say, Colonel Sheppard style? Any guy who spends twenty minutes with mousse and gel can have hair like that." Rodney gestured at Radek's own hair. "Even you, who rolled out of bed late, you have that carefully styled bed-head look that he spends so much time on."

Zelenka self-consciously tried to pat down his hair while McKay never stopped for a breath. "And Ronon? Not just any thug can pull off cool with leather clothes and more knives than a Ginsu chef. Only, don't tell him I said that. I think he might actually try to kill me." A nervous finger tugged at his collar as he continued.

"Then, there is Dr. Weir cool. She's like ice when it comes to negotiating. Almost too cool, if you ask me, but she makes it work. Not unlike Teyla, who has that more organic cool going for her. You know, she probably has a lower base temperature to go with that whole 'cool' thing. I ought to ask..." He snapped his fingers, "Kelly? Yes, she'd probably know."

Radek shook his head, keeping his fingers busy at the keyboard. Rodney paced to and fro, continuing his seeming one-track trail. "Alien physiology isn't beyond me, it's just not something I've had time to quantatively study. Although...comparative base rates of thermal temperatures could easily be gathered using the City's scanners."

Fingers flew on the nearest keyboard, bringing up several screens. McKay 'hmm-ed' and cast a side glance at the Czech. "Now, Major Lorne...he has a cool similar to Colonel Sheppard but more..." One hand waved in circles as Rodney tried to pin down an attribute.

"Cooler?" Zelenka squinted and looked closely at the monitor before him. "Rodney, what simulation are you running?"

"I'm not. It's the City running the base comparative analyses on humanoid life forms that have visited the City." He wrinkled his nose. "More cooler?"

The smaller scientist frowned. "But I thought we were working on your spatial dilation wave-fracture equation?"

"Oh, I finished that just before you got here. Then, I found out about the note on my coat. And now, I want an answer."

Zelenka stood there a moment, letting his subconscious process McKay's thoughts.

"Did you hear me? Hello? Radek?"

"Yes, what was the question again?" Blue eyes blinked from behind slightly askew glasses.

McKay 'hrmphed' and crossed his arms. "So. Which cool are you?"

He was saved by a beep from the com. "_Dr. Zelenka, please report to the infirmary_."

Rodney frowned, knowing he'd been thwarted. "I'll get back to you on this...don't you think I won't."

"Yes, I'm sure you will, Rodney."


	3. Revenge of the Miffed

**Revenge of the Miffed**

Radek reached the infirmary, wondering at the call he'd received. _No shots due. Not sick._ He nervously patted his mussed hair once more, wishing Rodney hadn't likened it to Colonel Sheppard's. Catching a glimpse of himself in a reflective monitor, the Czech paused. _Is not so bad. I could be cool..._

"Dr. Zelenka? Oh, good. You're here." Dr. Kelly walked out of an exam area, her padd in hand. "Sorry to bother you but one of the medics was re-packing a jumper this morning and had a problem with a connection from our portable scanner to the main jumper console."

Radek tilted his head, thinking about how the jumper schematics worked. "Yes, yes, I think I know what might be the problem. It is a simple fix. Would you like for me to...?"

"Please, and thank you." She brushed by him, patting his shoulder. "I don't know what we'd do with out you."

"Well, there is Rodney," he began.

Her thoughtful frown intrigued him. "Yes, and would Dr. McKay come down here and offer to fix our problem without a fuss?" His silence answered the question. "It's all about balance, Dr. Zelenka. You can't have too much of one with out the other to maintain a constant." Dr. Kelly gave him a small smile. "I appreciate your time. Thank you."

Watching her retreating back, Radek looked around, wondering if this were a set up of some sort. But then, the jumpers were becoming his area of specialty. With a half-shrug, he set off for the jumper bay.

The trip took a few minutes longer than normal. Several people stopped him to say 'hello' and wish him well. It was quite un-nerving since he was used to being in the background. With politeness that would have pleased his mother, he responded sincerely with a 'thank you.'

It got really strange when Ronon caught up with him at the bay doors. "Dr. Zelenka?"

That deep voice caused him to jump. He tried to still his heart. "Y–yes?"

The Satedan noticed the wary looks shot at him, but ignored them. "Would you like some company?"

"You?" Radek blinked, then shrugged. "I suppose. It might be good for you to know about this particular quirk in the Ancient technology." He strode up the ramp, heading for the pilot's console. Pressing a panel, a drawer slid out, revealing crystals, circuits and relays, all of which the Czech recognized on sight. One was noticeably out of place to his practiced eye, and he quickly made the corrective adjustments.

"That's it. You just tapped that thing to the side and it works now?" Ronon looked less than impressed.

Ignoring the big man, Zelenka closed the panel and hooked his laptop to the console, running a diagnostic. All readings read clear and he typed in the commands, requiring the ship to talk to the on-board portable med scanner. Nothing. Muttering in his native language, the scientist ran another program and came up with the same result. _It should work._

Making the same command request, nothing happened even more spectacularly. Radek double-checked his work, even popping the panel open to visually inspect. All seemed right. Closing the drawer, he gave it a frustrated push, causing it to bump loudly.

He flashed a glance to the side, watching the Satedan watch him. Ronon raised one eyebrow. "I'd kick it but then, I might break something."

"Yes, well, kicking works as a last resort." He tried the command, pleased when the two machines began talking to each other.

"Bump, kick, sometimes you need some force to get things going."

Radek packed up his laptop, preparing to return to the lab. He paused in front of the bigger man. "I know it was not impressive as Dr. McKay."

"You fixed it, right?" Hazel eyes seemed to look through the scientist.

"Yes."

"Then I'm impressed." He shoved off the seat where he'd been observing and stalked down the ramp, disappearing into the City.

_So strange this day_... Radek shook his head and tapped his radio headpiece. "Rodney?"

"_Where ARE you?"_

Blue eyes rolled, and he sighed. "In the jumper bay. Medical had a glitch and I fixed it."

"_I need you here. The secondary algorithms on the __spatial dilation wave-fracture equation need to be re-checked for the fourth time, not like I have time to do it myself, I already have, but I need you to double check my double-double checking."_

"I'm on my way."


	4. I Knew Hope

**I Knew Hope**

"Elizabeth, do you think Dr. Zelenka is cooler than I am?"

Dr. Weir looked up from her reports to see Rodney poking his head in at her door. She gave a crooked smile and leaned forward, elbows on desk, chin on hands. "Why do you ask?"

He edged his way in, his ususal kinetic bobble a bit more pronounced. "Just a thought I had."

"I see. And did this thought have to do with the incident in the mess hall this morning?" Her brown eyes sparkled as the scientist began to stammer at her.

"Yes, well, perhaps it did. There is no conclusive evidence so far that either myself or Dr. Zelenka is cool, except that my natural body temperature is hotter than his, but that notwithstanding, I fail to see the point in someone pinning that statement to my jacket." McKay finally decided to sit, parking himself in a chair close to her desk.

"Rodney, I would suggest that you don't take it personally. Someone is simply trying to make a point, although, they seem to be going about it the wrong way." Elizabeth leaned back in her chair, watching her friend process her statement.

"I fail to see how embarrassing me by comparing me to Radek Zelenka not personal!" Red flooded his cheeks as he huffed.

She nodded at his words, allowing him to cool for a moment. "Perhaps we need to look at the situation from another perspective. What was the comparison?"

Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out the simple paper and tossed it to her. "See? How can that NOT be personal?"

Dr. Weir pressed her lips together, willing herself not to grin. Often times, Rodney tended to over-exaggerate and this was one of them. "It says here, quite simply that—"

"Yes, yes, you don't need to rub it in, Elizabeth. It says that Radek is cooler than I think he is."

"May be you have the emphasis on the wrong idea. It isn't about who's cooler, rather, it's about what you tend to make everyone believe about him not being cool."

He opened his mouth to object, only to find she was right. "So, you mean, I'm still cool?"

_Figures. He's still Rodney..._ "Yes, apparently so. I think someone wanted others to look at Radek separately from you."

"Ha!" McKay smiled, his ego satisfied that he wasn't under attack. "Well, yes, then, sorry for taking up your time." Grinning from ear-to-ear, Rodney left.

Elizabeth stood, going to the observation window, thinking about the reports she'd overheard from various people who had passed her office during the day. The whole incident had everyone thinking about Zelenka, probably in a different light. It had given her pause, and she knew first hand how well he knew his job. Maybe, just maybe, the thought would sink in to certain others around the City. _See people for who they are, not for who people say they are..._

She looked down as Dr. Zelenka hurried through the control area, his hair askew, wondering how it affected the rather quiet scientist. He saw her and gave a small wave which she returned. _I hope it's good for him to be appreciated._


	5. The Ego Strikes Back

**The Ego Strikes Back**

As Radek walked through the outer edge of the Gate room, he glanced up, meeting Dr. Weir's gaze. His hand raised in a wave, one she returned before going back into her office. He smiled to himself, glad not to be the one in her shoes. _Is big job. Not for me._

A check of the chrono had him double-timing back to the labs. Rodney would be furious, or, if he were lucky, at lunch. The sounds of ranting told him luck was not with him today.

"If you incompetent morons can't handle a simple job, then why are you here? You must have _some_ intelligence if the IOA recruited you. Just run the simulations within the provided parameters and double check your findings against the quantum database. Dr. Zelenka could do _this_ in his sleep, so what's your excuse? Oh, I know...you don't have one. So, find a way to make it work."

The Czech scientist paused in the hall, just out of sight, allowing McKay's words to roll off his back. _Yes, he's brilliant, and yes, he's way beyond any five scientists here, but does he really have to insult everyone?_

"Purcell, were you even listening? Did you forget your hearing aid this morning?" Radek could hear Rodney tearing around the room, visualizing him tromping over any and everyone in his effort to have things work to his satisfaction. "And where is Zelenka? He should have been back by now."

"Here, Rodney," he replied, stepping into the chaos. Three terrified lab techs were huddled around one computer, whilst Purcell, the unlucky, stood glued to a second one. Radek eased over to him and tapped a few keys. "Try this, then, run the diagnostic."

Pale and sweating, the younger man managed a shallow smile, not raising his eyes at all.

McKay stopped at his own table, checking on several of his own sims before approaching the frozen trio. "Didn't I already tell you to figure it out?" When one nodded slowly, he frowned. "Aaaaand?"

Radek slid up beside his agitated friend, and bumped him gently aside. "Rodney," the accent was thicker now as he whispered, " you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar."

McKay rounded on him. "That is the stupidest thing I've heard all morning. Why would I want to catch bees? I'm allergic. And most honey has some sort of pollen in it and I'm allergic to that as well...I think. And where were you? You should have been back half an hour ago."

Shrugging, Zelenka let the comment go. "I'm here now. Let them go. Kavanagh might come looking for them."

"Oh, God, like I need that kind of headache right now. Okay," he gestured to the trio, who still hadn't moved. "You can go. But next time," Rodney followed them to the hall, hollering at their retreating backs, "don't forget to bring your brains!"

With a heavy sigh, Radek moved to the abandoned station, to see what the big deal was about. "Rodney?"

"What now?" came the tired whine.

"What exactly were you having them work on?" Blue eyes peered over the tops of slightly crooked glasses.

"Well, since you decided to take a vacation in Sick Bay, I was having them run simulations on the spatial dilation wave-fracture equation while I did the primary work on the secondary algorithms which _you_ were supposed to be doing." McKay stopped behind his computer station to check several screens, becoming engrossed in the data displayed. Radek's continued silence eventually brought him up for air. "Why do you ask?"

Scratching his temple, Zelenka gave a sheepish grin. "How are they supposed to do that when the database you gave them is from your base comparative analyses on humanoid life forms that have visited the City?"

"Oh. Really? It finished crunching the data already?" Rodney hustled over to the monitor, grinning as the numbers flashed before him. "I knew I was hot. I just knew it." Tapping a key, he sent the data over to Radek's screen. "See, I told you my base temp was hotter than most. I really am hot."

Zelenka pondered that a moment, then tilted his head, giving McKay a look. "So, this means I _am_ cooler than you think, yes?"

Stunned, Rodney had no answer, and luckily, still present Purcell decided not to laugh.


	6. Return of the Good Guy

**ZAS: Return of the Good Guy**

It flew like wildfire. Rodney was pretty sure he could pin it on Purcell getting back at him for his tirade earlier. _Figures. _He sighed into his chocolate pudding, locking his gaze on his padd. Behind him, he could hear the remarks, real and imagined.

"Did you get the last one?" Deep voice could only belong to one person.

"Why, yes, Conan, I did." Rodney shot the Satedan a childish smirk.

Ronon shrugged and tossed four more cups down on the table. "Too bad. I was going to share."

Choking on his own chocolate goodness, the Canadian sputtered, "Where? Wha-?"

"Hey, Dr. Z!" A wave had the Czech joining them. "Want one?"

Blue eyes widened. "Certainly." He murmured several extra words in his native language.

Rodney frowned at him. "Now what? Now that it's been physically proven you are cooler than I am, what IS it?"

"Is just...I am not used to so much attention." He sat down next to Ronon, rolling a pudding cup over and over in his hands. Slender fingers that spent much time with Ancient interfaces seemed to dance over the surface of the oddly shaped container. "I did not ask for recognition."

"Yes, well, it seems that SOMEONE thought you needed to step into the light for a moment, okay." Rodney finally noticed the genuine unease in the slighter man's shoulders. "Hey, not everyone here has their own fan club, although, I doubt that the ZAS, whatever that stands for, could be considered a true club. I think there are rules for such things. I wonder what it would take to start my own..."

"McKay, that would be defeating the point, if you start your own club," Sheppard gave his friend a crooked smile as he slid into a set next to him. "I mean, really. Who'd pay all the dues? You? I've seen you play poker."

Ronon snorted. "You still owe me a box of Pop-Tarts."

"I'm working on it." Rodney eyed one of the three remaining cups. "Can I have one of those now?"

A growl accompanied the massive arm circling the pudding protectively.

"I'd take that as a 'NO', Rodney. Besides, Cook said you've had three today. Stress-relief, I believe he said you called it."

"I WAS! It's been terribly stressful to have to figure out all the normal problems as well as..." He trailed off, flushing pink as he nearly blabbed his own findings.

"Figuring out you are hotter than the rest of us and that Radek is cooler than you by default?" John took great delight in taunting Rodney with his own findings.

Finally defeated, the Canadian mumbled into his padd, "It was just an idea."

"And a good one." Zelenka slid his cup over to Rodney. "Here. You have. I think I am tired of this today." He stood and made his way out of the Dining Hall, stopping several times to talk to many well-wishers.

"He seems to be handling it pretty well," Sheppard noted.

"Yeah, he should be well-versed in it, since all day people have been interrupting our important work to mention it to him."

"So, did you figure out that eye-ball dilation spaced-out fracture thing?"

Rodney rounded on Sheppard only to find he and the Satedan staring at him intently. "Well, yes, of course, I did. Do you think a mere comment can distract me from my job? You know I can multi-task."

"That's good, McKay. Knowing you are on the job let's me sleep at night." John smiled at his friend.

"Really?" Rodney seemed gobsmacked.

"Really. Now, go get some sleep. I'm sure the galaxy will need saving tomorrow."

Snatching an extra pudding cup, the scientist jumped up. "Sleep is a good idea. I might get in a few hours before the next big crisis." He almost made it out the door, before someone stopped to give him a pat on the back. The smile that lit his face as he walked out the door had his two friends grinning.

"I think that worked well."

"Hm." Ronon looked at his remaining cup. "I think he took two."

"Nah, I have one. Figured I'd need the extra boost." That earned him a sharply arched eyebrow. "What? I'm a growing boy."

The big man shook his head. Walking out the door, he left John to his pudding in peace.

**THE END**


End file.
